how to be a skint foodie
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Being a skint foodie is not about trying to eat as cheaply as is humanly possible. It's about eating as well as you can manage for the money you can (or are willing to) spend on your food budget. For me that means eliminating expenditure on anything else save for essential utilities and household items.
1. MINIMISE YOUR OTHER EXPENDITURE
Take a long hard look at your life and cut out all the crap. For me this means I don't go out - anywhere, bar a set lunch at a restaurant maybe four to six times a year. My social diary is TV Choice magazine. I have Freeview not Sky or cable.I don't go on holiday. I almost never buy clothes. I never buy books or DVD's or CD's - I use the library. I have no credit cards or insurance. I have no car. I rarely put credit on my mobile (although that's mainly because I've no one to call). I try and have one light on in the flat at a time. I turn off every appliance at night and have no heating save for the winter months.
2. PLAN AHEAD
Living as a skint foodie does take a little effort and foresight. Thoughtlessly impulsive expenditure simply isn’t an option. Plan your week’s menu in advance and make a shopping list for all the ingredients you need in their exact quantities.
Sad anal-retentive that I am, I have an Excel template for seven days of breakfast, lunch and dinner. O.K., I know that's pathetic but actually it's not only cost-effective – it also helps you balance your diet. Stop. Laughing. Bastards.
Having said that, one of the joys of food shopping is to adapt your plans according to what’s good that day in the market. It helps here if you’re an experienced cook who can immediately work out what to do with those fresh borlotti beans and what planned meal you’re going to ditch. Similarly, it’s a good idea to do a daily as opposed to a weekly shop. Because there’ll be times when you change your mind about what nosebag you fancy that day.
3. BUY ONLY WHAT YOU NEED
For those of a sensitive disposition, this is where the anonymity of supermarkets comes in handy. There is none of the embarrassment that buying one carrot and one potato might occasion at a small greengrocers.
If you plan your week's meals ahead of time, you'll know that you only need, say, three carrots, one onion, five rashers of bacon and 200g of cod fillet, not whatever weight is pre-packed in the supermarket chiller cabinets.
4. NEVER THROW FOOD AWAY
I mean never. There are those who proudly claim to have nothing in the freezer save for a bag of frozen petit pois. Mine is filled with containers of leftovers, bread, stock, meat and fish.
Planning in advance should mean you have very little potential wastage. Our sworn enemy here is, of course, the bunch of celery. Because, apart from the eponymous soup, every single recipe ever that requires celery calls for one stalk, at most two.
At the end of the week, if you have any leftover vegetables, you’ll be making a minestrone. And any fruit threatening to turn will be juiced or made into a compote.
5. SHOP AROUND AND BARGAIN HUNT
I realise that having a range of supermarkets and shops to pick and choose from isn't an option for everyone - either you don't have the time or perhaps you live in a fairly remote area. But if it is you'll find that one stocks tins of San Marzano tomatoes, another offers a great range of tinned fish, while another might have the cheaper cuts of meat on display.
Obviously, you’re going to be on the lookout for special offers, BOGOF’s and late evening ‘whoopsies’. You’re going to check out mysupermarket.com. You’re going to take advantage of Asda’s Price Guarantee and similar.
Shop where other poor people shop. On my mental foodie map it used to be marked ‘here be monsters’ but now, cut me and I bleed Rye Lane. Five red peppers for a quid! And compare the cost of whole black peppercorns from one of the many Asian shops here with the tiny bags sold in the supermarkets.
Of course, you will not be buying ludicrous packaged ready-prepared baked potatoes or other convenience food. Or, indeed, supermarket pizza. Because you’ll be making an infinitely superior one at home.
Oh, and always check sell-by dates. Nothing worse than getting home and finding the pot of cream you were going to use four days hence expires in twelve hours.
6. BEFRIEND YOUR LOCAL SHOPKEEPER
There’s many reasons why you should support your neighbourhood shops. But, in terms of frugal eating, I’m talking here mainly of your local deli, butcher and fishmonger. Shop there regularly, be friendly, and soon you'll feel comfortable asking if they've got any knuckles of prosciutto or ham for stews and soups, or beef bones, chicken carcasses, and heads and bones of fish (turbot, halibut etc.) for stock which they'll let you have cheap/free.
7. EAT LIKE A PEASANT
And that means a diet that not only features plenty of beans, pulses and vegetables, but also cheaper fish like mackerel, pollock, gurnard, pouting and flounder and cuts of meat such as shin of beef, pork cheeks, pork belly and offal.
8. BAKE A CAKE
I love cake. I'm sure you do too. But a slice from a decent deli or patisserie can cost a few quid. So make your own. It’s easy and, importantly, satisfying. You can knock out a lemon drizzle cake to die for in the time it takes to listen to the afternoon play on Radio 4.
And with a little puff pastry, a few slices of apple and a drizzle of caster sugar you can have a crispy and delicious tart made in minutes. And luckily cream is dirt cheap.
9. TAKE YOUR OWN LUNCH TO WORK
People seem to think it’s embarrassing taking their own lunch in to work - they have an image in their heads of a cheese sandwich and a copy of Modern Railways magazine in a tattered briefcase. Well, wait until your work colleagues get a sight of your salad niçoise, or roast pheasant sandwich, or pea and ham soup. You'll soon be recognised as the intelligent and sophisticated sexual titan you truly are.
10. TREAT YOURSELF NOW AND AGAIN
One thing you won’t be doing frequently is dining out. But save up your pennies and, just once in a while, treat yourself to a set lunch at a good restaurant. If you can put aside £2 a week, in three months you'll have enough for a three course lunch at, say, the Michelin starred Arbutus. Their set lunch is £19.95. Which some might say compares favourably with a large Pepperoni Passion pizza from Domino’s at £17.99. Just make sure you stick to tap water.
Take a long hard look at your life and cut out all the crap. For me this means I don't go out - anywhere, bar a set lunch at a restaurant maybe four to six times a year. My social diary is TV Choice magazine. I have Freeview not Sky or cable.I don't go on holiday. I almost never buy clothes. I never buy books or DVD's or CD's - I use the library. I have no credit cards or insurance. I have no car. I rarely put credit on my mobile (although that's mainly because I've no one to call). I try and have one light on in the flat at a time. I turn off every appliance at night and have no heating save for the winter months.
2. PLAN AHEAD
Living as a skint foodie does take a little effort and foresight. Thoughtlessly impulsive expenditure simply isn’t an option. Plan your week’s menu in advance and make a shopping list for all the ingredients you need in their exact quantities.
Sad anal-retentive that I am, I have an Excel template for seven days of breakfast, lunch and dinner. O.K., I know that's pathetic but actually it's not only cost-effective – it also helps you balance your diet. Stop. Laughing. Bastards.
Having said that, one of the joys of food shopping is to adapt your plans according to what’s good that day in the market. It helps here if you’re an experienced cook who can immediately work out what to do with those fresh borlotti beans and what planned meal you’re going to ditch. Similarly, it’s a good idea to do a daily as opposed to a weekly shop. Because there’ll be times when you change your mind about what nosebag you fancy that day.
3. BUY ONLY WHAT YOU NEED
For those of a sensitive disposition, this is where the anonymity of supermarkets comes in handy. There is none of the embarrassment that buying one carrot and one potato might occasion at a small greengrocers.
If you plan your week's meals ahead of time, you'll know that you only need, say, three carrots, one onion, five rashers of bacon and 200g of cod fillet, not whatever weight is pre-packed in the supermarket chiller cabinets.
4. NEVER THROW FOOD AWAY
I mean never. There are those who proudly claim to have nothing in the freezer save for a bag of frozen petit pois. Mine is filled with containers of leftovers, bread, stock, meat and fish.
Planning in advance should mean you have very little potential wastage. Our sworn enemy here is, of course, the bunch of celery. Because, apart from the eponymous soup, every single recipe ever that requires celery calls for one stalk, at most two.
At the end of the week, if you have any leftover vegetables, you’ll be making a minestrone. And any fruit threatening to turn will be juiced or made into a compote.
5. SHOP AROUND AND BARGAIN HUNT
I realise that having a range of supermarkets and shops to pick and choose from isn't an option for everyone - either you don't have the time or perhaps you live in a fairly remote area. But if it is you'll find that one stocks tins of San Marzano tomatoes, another offers a great range of tinned fish, while another might have the cheaper cuts of meat on display.
Obviously, you’re going to be on the lookout for special offers, BOGOF’s and late evening ‘whoopsies’. You’re going to check out mysupermarket.com. You’re going to take advantage of Asda’s Price Guarantee and similar.
Shop where other poor people shop. On my mental foodie map it used to be marked ‘here be monsters’ but now, cut me and I bleed Rye Lane. Five red peppers for a quid! And compare the cost of whole black peppercorns from one of the many Asian shops here with the tiny bags sold in the supermarkets.
Of course, you will not be buying ludicrous packaged ready-prepared baked potatoes or other convenience food. Or, indeed, supermarket pizza. Because you’ll be making an infinitely superior one at home.
Oh, and always check sell-by dates. Nothing worse than getting home and finding the pot of cream you were going to use four days hence expires in twelve hours.
6. BEFRIEND YOUR LOCAL SHOPKEEPER
There’s many reasons why you should support your neighbourhood shops. But, in terms of frugal eating, I’m talking here mainly of your local deli, butcher and fishmonger. Shop there regularly, be friendly, and soon you'll feel comfortable asking if they've got any knuckles of prosciutto or ham for stews and soups, or beef bones, chicken carcasses, and heads and bones of fish (turbot, halibut etc.) for stock which they'll let you have cheap/free.
7. EAT LIKE A PEASANT
And that means a diet that not only features plenty of beans, pulses and vegetables, but also cheaper fish like mackerel, pollock, gurnard, pouting and flounder and cuts of meat such as shin of beef, pork cheeks, pork belly and offal.
8. BAKE A CAKE
I love cake. I'm sure you do too. But a slice from a decent deli or patisserie can cost a few quid. So make your own. It’s easy and, importantly, satisfying. You can knock out a lemon drizzle cake to die for in the time it takes to listen to the afternoon play on Radio 4.
And with a little puff pastry, a few slices of apple and a drizzle of caster sugar you can have a crispy and delicious tart made in minutes. And luckily cream is dirt cheap.
9. TAKE YOUR OWN LUNCH TO WORK
People seem to think it’s embarrassing taking their own lunch in to work - they have an image in their heads of a cheese sandwich and a copy of Modern Railways magazine in a tattered briefcase. Well, wait until your work colleagues get a sight of your salad niçoise, or roast pheasant sandwich, or pea and ham soup. You'll soon be recognised as the intelligent and sophisticated sexual titan you truly are.
10. TREAT YOURSELF NOW AND AGAIN
One thing you won’t be doing frequently is dining out. But save up your pennies and, just once in a while, treat yourself to a set lunch at a good restaurant. If you can put aside £2 a week, in three months you'll have enough for a three course lunch at, say, the Michelin starred Arbutus. Their set lunch is £19.95. Which some might say compares favourably with a large Pepperoni Passion pizza from Domino’s at £17.99. Just make sure you stick to tap water.
