_I'm not one of those intrepid culinary explorers who'd eat virtually anything. I can't see myself ever feasting on bull's penis, seal, rat, or tarantula for example. We are all squeamish, to varying degrees. But if you think about it, if you've made the decision to kill and eat a particular animal it is rather illogical not to then try and use all of it.

In August of last year, the Guardian featured an A-Z of offal. I was shamefaced to see that I had scored a paltry 11 out of 23, namely blood, caul, feet, giblets, head, kidney, liver, marrow, sweetbreads, tail and tongue. The others were brains, cocks' combs, ears, eyes, hearts, intestines, lungs, palates, spleen, testicles (fries), tripe and udder. Now I can cross two more off the list and move on to the next. I think eyes, palates and udders may be beyond me though.

_To the ancient Greeks it was associated with the cult of death. Augustine of Hippo referred to it as the Devil's Fingers. Matthew Hopkins, the 17thc. Witchfinder General, regarded possession of it as proof positive of being in communion with the Diabolical One.*

All of which may seem fanciful to us now. But surely no benign and loving God would have created such a monstrosity?

Ask yourself this: have you ever bought celery with anything other than a heavy heart? You may well be whistling a merry tune as you skip gaily down the supermarket aisle towards the aubergines, courgettes, broccoli and tomatoes; but a quick glance at your shopping list and there it is - celery. Standing before the vile things you're racked with indecision. A whole head or a pack of prepared sticks? There's less of it in the pack, but the whole head is cheaper. Your morning is ruined.